The trach hole :) Healing up and uncovered for good!

Last day with the trach!!  It came out on Friday at noon.  Wahoo!!

Beautiful Gracie :)

Amy, Robyn, Candace, Mom, Nicole, Jamie, Jessica

Danny, me, Davis (my princess and maid of honor), Billie, Grace (Grace LOVES Billie!!)

Christian, Dad, Troy, Justin, Jeremy

Cody, Danny, Lynn (the best man)

Cutting the cake.  Danny suprised me and had his thereapists help him bake the cake for the wedding!!

Our Care Coordinator, Jody, decorated, bought us a cake, and drinks.  She is AMAZING!

We love you Nicole.  You have been a lifesaver.

Danny got a little too much sun!

Danny and I will be getting married at 1pm on Saturday, April 28 at the University of Utah Medical Center in the Rehab Commons on the 2nd floor.  You can park in the valet section at the hospital lobby entrance (it's been approved)...in the front lobby entrance, up the right hall to elevators labeled A, up to the second floor, right out of the elevator straight down that hall to the end where it then turns right, to the end of that hall, turn left, past the elevators and then right :)  There are signs and lots of people to ask for directions of you get lost.  Everyone and anyone is welcome to come.  It won't be anything fancy or lavish, just Danny and I expressing our love and commitment to each other and we would love to have anyone who would like to share this special day with us and the kids.

No more catheter!!  The trach will hopefully be removed on Friday...the doctor is being extra cautious with that as they do not want to have to put another in if he does have anymore issues with secretions in his lungs.

Danny working with Shannon, his amazing physical therapist!!  Sitting up on his own.  His strength and endurance are getting better everyday.  We are so happy to be here.

Danny has started a regular rehab schedule each day and this has been his first day off :)  He is very excited and motivated as are his therapists.  They are all very optimistic about his potential.  He gains more control of his muscles each day.  Still no movement below the waist but we are still optimistic as each day is better than the last :)  Danny still gets pretty dizzy with quick movements but with some adjustments to his blood pressure medications to help keep it higher he is doing well.  Dealing with Danny's injury on top of the narcolepsy has been a learning experience for the staff here.  He no longer has any infections, fevers, or pneumonia.  We are hoping the trach will be removed tomorrow and the Foley by the end of the week.  No more tubes and wires!!

We went to church today and wedding ring shopping (all here at the hospital).  We are getting married here at the hospital on Saturday.  It has been so nice to be close to Danny's family now and have that support.  We had the kids here with us this weekend and it was awesome.  This experience has sure helped Danny and I realize what things in life are truly important.  And although the experience at the hospital in Meridian was not very positive, we did learn to trust each other and we did meet some amazing people.  I believe that Danny and I needed that time alone to understand each other.

I also added some new pictures to the picture page today.

We transfered to the University of Utah yesterday.  Danny went via ambulance; I followed in the car.  This hospital is very nice and all the staff has been very kind.  They ask Danny how he wants to do everything rather just telling.  The doctors we have been very welcoming, thorough in their explanations, and very caring.  We are very happy to be here.

This morning was VERY scary as Danny coded after being transferred to a chair.  His blood pressure dropped and he quit breathing.  Everything is good now.  Will post more later.

We found out today that the rehab at EIRMC cannot accept Danny based on the level of his spinal cord injury.  We need everyone's prayers that we will be accepted tomorrow at the University of Utah's spine center.  The hospital we are currently in is definitely not for us and we hope to be leaving here tomorrow.

Because we pushed and caused a lot of waves (surprise coming from Danny and I!!)  He is now off the vent and had the ng tube removed (feeding tube inserted through his nose and into his small intestine) and is on solid food today.  He was so happy to eat meat :) (and ketchup)...

The process of dealing with all of these different doctors and staff has definitely been a challenge and we have learned a lot through the process.  It is definitely important to do your own research and not just trust blindly...money definitely makes the world go round for a lot of people.  This experience has brought Danny and I closer together and taught us to trust each other so much more.  I can't believe the issues that we used to think were so big and insurmountable.  The amount of personal growth and knowledge we have each experienced/gained during this time certainly makes coping with the realities more manageable.

Danny says that you for your support to all those who have helped us, loved us, and prayed for us.  He is talking up a storm now!! 

We have learned so much over the past couple of days.

• Sensory and Motor systems in the spinal cord are grouped together, therefore you can easily lose one or the other during an injury.  Danny obviosly still has sensory in his lower half but we are still very unsure if he will have any motor.  If one where to have to chose one or the other, sensory is the better one to have as individuals with paralysis do not die from not be able to move or walk but rather other health issues that may not be aware of because of the lack of feeling. 
• Danny will have the speaking for 4 to 6 hours tomorrow in two hour increments.
• He will start swallow tests on Monday with the tube fooding to hopefully end by the end of the week and back on normal food! 
• New rehab by the end of next week or beginning of the next assuming all goes well with trials this weekend and next week.  Idaho Falls is sounding somewhat promising...we'll see :)

Everyday has it's ups and downs but overall every week has been better than the last.  Danny has been very touched by all the kind words and help.  We are SO thankful to all of our family, friends (present and past) who have helped us, both financially and with their service and open homes/lives.  THANK YOU does not explain the gratitude we feel.  You are each amazing and may your blessings be 100 fold.

Danny left his room for the first time since the accident today! It was a wheel around the hospital and it sure felt like a HUGE step.  No vent, no tubes, no alarms...He was off the vent for most of the day today, only on tonight to rest.  Saturday will be another 12 hours off the vent with the hope of being completely wiened by Monday.  Danny is VERY eager and pushes the doctors and nurses everyday.   He is staying very strong, hopeful, grateful, and positive despite all the variables we do not know.  We have each other and the kids no matter what happens.  What else matters?

Today turned out to be pretty awesome.  We met Michelle, who is charge of respiratory therapy here.  She is an amazing woman and so full of knowledge.  I believe that she is the reason we ended up at this place.  We needed her to appreciate the medical services available now vs 10 or 20 years ago.  Her medical career began in California where she helped invent many of the devices that Danny is currently using to help with his lung issues.  She explained her story and a 10 year old girl who had been paralyzed after a hit and run in a crosswalk and how it all came to be.  Her ideas and inventions were not based on the desire to get rich but make this girl's life better.  It makes us appreciate the sacrifices that others have made.  As our son told me a few weeks ago, the answer to our prayers may be someone else's crisis or our crisis maybe someone else's answer to their prayers.  Good does come from EVERY situation.  It may not always be good for us, but someone's life is somehow made better at some point.  Life truly does have such a ripple effect.

Thank you to EVERYONE who has EVER touched our lives...good and bad.  Our experiences in the past have helped prepare us for the present.  If Danny hadn't spent the time away that he did, I'm not sure he could handle the situation he is in now.  If we didn't have John, we couldn't be where we are now.  So seriously, everything does happen for a reason.  Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and knows what we need to learn during our time here, so just be thankful for whatever you do have at this very moment.  We are just here to learn to be grateful, understanding, loving, empathetic...

The nights are hard.  Danny and I have come up with a little bit of a schedule.  He'd rather not be alone at night as he has had a very hard time sleeping and getting comfortable.  He is exhausted as am I.  I typically stay with him until 5 or 6 am and then I go stay at the Bishop Foote House (owned by St. Lukes Hospital) for a few hours where I have a room.  It is only $15/night and it is a normal house with kitchen and 3 baths.  It is so nice that they let me come stay here, otherwise I'm not sure what we would do.  Things are getting super tight as we still have kids, rent, utilities, car payment, plus travel and stay costs.  I have been working as much as I can via my laptop and the phone but we could use help if anyone has even an extra $20 sometime.  I set up a link on the blog to donate via paypal (<a href="http://iamtotallydesperate.com/?q=user/1537">Make a Donation</a> and also setup an account on Wells Fargo  under Raydene Morgan for donations.  I had to setup under my name as Danny can't write or go to the bank and that was our only option.  We would appreciate any help we can get...

If anyone is coming to town to visit, the Candlewood Suites only charges $59.99 + tax per night if you tell them you are with someone at the Complex Care Hospital.  It is SUPER nice with all rooms having kitchenettes, free breakfast, free laundry, exercise room, spa, good priced food options, and awesome staff.

Danny would LOVE some visitors here in Boise.  I know it is hard for those who come because he doesn't have a voice...but I am pretty good at reading lips and will make sure I am here.  Call me at 208.709.5528 and let me know when you are coming and I will be here to translate :)  The only time I am usually gone is from 5 or 6 am to noon....

Thank you all for your good wishes, love, and support.  It truly is appreciated.

It is hard to stay positive when surrounded by people who are just doing their job.  Like it is anywhere, some of the nurses and doctors seem sincere in their caring but others are obviously not and it is SO frustrating.  I have a hard time sometimes holding my tongue :)  Imagine that!  I just need to remember that they each have lives outside of here and I have no idea what they are going through either...

Danny sat up on the edge of the bed today for a few minutes which is the first time he has sat up without a chair or the bed supporting him.  He got really light headed...said he feels like he got his bum handed to him today. (paraphrased)  He is getting more coordinated everyday with his movements and the breathing without the vent is going well.  Saturday is still the plan for the speaking valve.  We both just want out of this place and somewhere closer to home.  We are ready to get back to life and closer to the people we love.

I'll start posting more pics.  I told Danny today that just because this is going on, it is still our life and we should have memories of it.  There have been a lot of positives in this experience too and Danny and I have each grown so much.  This has definitely changed our perception of life, what's important, and our love for each other and the kids.

His lungs are getting stronger everyday.  He is down to 21% oxygen, which is what we all normally breath and is doing great.  They doubled the length of time for his 3 sessions breathing on his own and will do that each day until he is off the vent.  He gets to wear this awesome vest a few times a day that shakes him to loosen anything in his lungs :)  and then they use a "cough assist"...it's a machine that forces large breaths into his lungs and then sucks them out really fast, acting as a cough.  It brings up a lot and will hopefully keep him from needing another bronchostomy.  Assuming everything stays as clear as it has been, Saturday is the plan for the speaking valve. 

It sounds like they only plan on keeping him here for 10 to 14 more days and then they want to send him to a different rehab.  Burley if he is still on the vent or Idaho Falls (hopefully) if he is off the vent...everything is still very unclear. 

He is getting more feeling back in his legs which they say is a GREAT sign :)  He still has not been able to move below the waist but has feeling everywhere.  He still says it feels different than before but like it is "waking up."  They did some electrical stimulation of his legs today and exercises with his arms and legs.  His arm strength is getting better and the physical therapist says it is good that he does have some strength/movement in his fingers (to grasp) it just means that the muscles are weak.

He is working hard and completely exhausted tonight after a hard day's work.  Everyone here is very positive and they are all  excited about Danny's eagerness and progress.

Danny is completely off of the sedation, has the oxygen turned down to 25%, and is doing awesome.  He was moved out of bed to a chair for a couple hours.  They did 3 sessions of having him breath on his own today and he did great :)  Speaking valve within a couple of days...hopefully the nurses all still think he is as sweet and nice as he has them convinced he is when he has a voice :)

So we are hoping to be out of this rehab and into one closer to home within the next couple weeks :)  Danny has to stay here until the medical issues with his lungs are resolved but then they want him to move to an inpatient rehab to focus just on the rehab of the spinal cord injury.  We are hoping to find something in Rexburg or Idaho Falls but we aren't really sure what our options are yet...

Danny is down to 30% on the oxygen and keeping his levels up :)  Last week he was at 90% to keep his levels up.  Good progress.  He has been having short times throughout the day off the ventilator and has done very well.  They will keep lengthening the time off the ventilator each day until he is strong enough to not need it anymore and then he can get a speaking valve...wahoo!

So I left Boise yesterday and wasn't planning coming back to Boise until Tuesday so I could spend some time with the girls and work but decided to surprise Danny as an Easter present with a visit from all of us today (Me, Lynn, Davis and Grace)...he actually cried when we walked in :)  He is scared and obviously mistrusting (as life has dealt him many unfair blows, including some of my actions in the past) and was so happy.  I went home for one night and it was the most miserable night.  I want nothing but to be with him and to make sure he is taken care of.  No fault of the hospital, but who is there to help him sit up when he needs or help him spit or to comfort him...After all of this has happened, so much about life seems small and unimportant.

It was pure bliss today to have Lynn, Davis, Grace, and Danny all in one room happy.  My life felt whole, complete, and happy.

Thank you John for your patience and understanding.  You are an amazing father and man.  Thank you for all your help!

I will not leave Boise again until he can leave this hospital.  He needs me here and if I were in his position, I woould want/need the same.  I know the kids are well taken care of and I hope that someday they will understand.  I would do the same for them.

I don't know how we will manage everything but I do know that Heavenly Father loves us and we will find a way.  Although I am very prideful (as Danny reminded me yesterday) and I don't want to share this, I feel like it is my duty to share the experiences of our life:

I am completely out of money and as I drove back to Boise tonight (John thankfully met me half way or I wouldn't have had enough gas to get back) I wondered what I will do to wash my laundry, shower, and such...(I can stay with Danny but no showers or anything available)...I got a call from a friend I have had for 20 years...she is in Boise and asked if I needed anything :)  I said, "yes, a shower tomorrow."  The Lord does truly take care of us but we have to have faith.  Danny has always been such a preacher but now I realize that it is just that he has faith and he understands so much more than I ever have.  I am often amazed that he has had the patience to wait for me to understand.

I'm not sure how he even survived this but I thank Heavenly Father everyday for not taking him from us.

We are at

Complex Care Hospital of Idaho

2131 South Bonito Way
Meridian, ID 83642-1659
(877) 801–2244

I'm still not very familiar with the roads here but if you are coming from Rexburg way, it is exit # 46 (Eagle/McCall exit).  Left at the light, get in the right lane...then right on Goldstone into Elderado Business Park...straight through the stop sign into the parking lot :)

Visiting hours are 8am to 8pm daily.

Anyone is welcome although I'm not sure if there is an age requirement for kids, so call first if I haven't posted anything.  You just sign in at the deskon the visitor sheet and get a "visitor" sticker.  He is currently in room ICU9...not sure if or when that will change.  You'll have to get directions to his room at the desk.  It's a maze and he is far from the front door...but no more getting buzzed in.  Wahoo!

They will start weaning Danny from the ventilator tomorrow.  Which means if all goes well, he could have a valve on his trach by Monday so he can talk!!

Danny and Lynn have been playing the xbox :)  Lynn is expecting Danny to practice up so he can be at least a little bit of a challenge for him.  Danny likes all the nurses here and is in good spirits although today was rough as he seemed to have some sort of reaction to his meds or something.  Everyone here has been very kind although I'm sure they all think I'm crazy ;)  Those of you that know me know that I can sure lose it from time to time...but that's why Danny and I fit together so well.

I know very little. I am powerless. I am completely imperfect. Thank God he doesn't leave us here alone and comfortless. I cant tell you how Danny is feeling or what he is thinking.. He has strength when I don't. I dont know how to do this gracefully and I dont know how to help my kids understand all that is going on. I am scared and amazed everyday at the faith and love Danny has. Thank you for loving me Danny

The last few days have been a roller coaster for sure.  Danny's sedation has been taken off and he is dealing with every thing remarkably well.  His spirits are high :)  We found out yesterday that we are having a miscarriage.  It is definitely a hard blow and life can be cruel but Danny reminded that day not to forget that we are the Saturday warriors and we can't let all of this drag us down.  He is an amazing man with more faith than I have ever seen in anyone.  He is definitely rough around the edges but he is pure gold.  I know with more surety everyday that he is my soul mate.

We are going to Boise by ambulance at 8am.  I have a friend following us in my car with our son.  I'm not sure how long we will be able to stay or where we will stay but I have learned that I just have to keep moving forward and have faith that the Lord will help us find a way.

Danny got fitted with a new neck brace yesterday and was THRILLED (to say the least)!!  The old one was rubbing his neck raw.  I have so much more to say but have to work so that I can go to Boise in a few hours.  Will try to post again soon...thank you all for your support and thank you SO much to our friends and our family who have helped so much.  I have had to learn that in order to be the vessel that the Lord needs me to be I have to be willing to be the one who needs help, no always just the helper.  Not sure I like this lesson but obviously it was needed...

We had a good night together.  He is so much more comfortable and smiling.  We both can't wait until we can just lay next to each other in bed and watch a movie together :)  He gets so irritated when he asks me to do things and I say I have to check with the nurse.  He says I worry too much...and I said did you really think just cause you were in an accident that that would change...he laughed. 

His lungs are still pretty congested but a little better everyday.  Danny and I definitely will have to learn patience :)  He is doing great focusing on getting those lungs cleared up  and figuring out how to cough using different muscles.  It is so frustrating for all of us that he cannot use his vocal cords.  They say that they can put a valve on the trach so he can use his vocal cords but they can't do that until he can keep his oxygen levels up on his own....more patience...

He was so glad for all the visitors and love yesterday.  He told me again this morning how great it was and that mom gave him a hug and kiss :)  He has always said how his family are the ones who have always been there for him, even in the worst of times.  Thank goodness for such a wonderful family!!